I understand, based on yesterday's news of your acquisition of Instagram, that you are in desperate need of a new VP of Merger's and Acquisitions over there. Clearly somebody is allowing you to pay way too much for your newly acquired businesses, and I'd be glad to step in and put a stop to this nonsense.
Let's have a look at what you overpaid for Instagram. By the numbers:
- 1 office
- 12 employees
- 30 million members
Here's what I'd offer:
- $500,000 for capital assets
- $500,000 per employee (roughly four times their average annual salary, I'm guessing)
- 12 x $500,000 = $6,000,000
- $671,000,000 for the members
- This assumes advertising revenue of $0.15 per week for 20% of the members over 20 years, accounting for inflation
For a total savings of: $322.5M!
You're welcome. But before you let the old VP go, please have him set my new salary.
Sincerely,
David Sevy
Aspiring Facebook Executive
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